Cousins, 1x01: TOW They All Leave Home
by writerchic16
Summary: -Next generation spin-off series, not in script format- Erica, Emma, Jack and Mikey move into their new Manhattan apartments, while Ben deals with his parents' constant demands to take care of Emma.
1. Teaser

**Cousins**

_TOW They All Leave Home_

A/N: Yeah, this has been done before. But I thought it would just be cool to try a story about the cousins in actual spin-off format, with actual episodes. Don't worry, that doesn't mean it's in script format, lol. Each "episode" won't be long, eight short chapters at most.

I just always thought a sitcom about the cousins would be perfect for an actual Friends spin-off. It'd be a new group of people, yet still with ties to the original six. Even before I found spin-off fics, I came up with how I imagined the cousins to be and that they live in Manhattan.

I'm sorry to those who feel I may be stealing their ideas. But I promise you, other than the very basic concept of the cousins living together in Manhattan, all plotlines and personalities will be my own.

If this goes well, I have fifteen episodes planned so far for season one, and will give you a sneak preview of the summaries in the next chapter. But for now, here's _TOW They All Leave Home_.

* * *

"One…two…three!" Erica called. She then stumbled backwards into the kitchen cabinets as her cousins pushed a foosball table into her new apartment. The expensive table had been a college graduation gift from her honorary uncle Joey, who'd been rolling in cash ever since his sitcom premiered.

Tightening her blonde ponytail, Erica yelled, "Aw, guys! You scuffed the floor!"

"Well, excuse me, princess," Jack retorted, helping Ben and Mikey carry the table further into the apartment. Mikey was Mike Jr., Phoebe and Mike's twenty-year-old son.

Setting the table on the edge of the kitchen, Ben sat on the arm of the couch and caught his breath. "Sorry, Erica. But you get what you pay for. And you're not paying us anything."

"Because you're family! Duh!" Erica said.

Mikey grinned at her. "I'm not. That'll be ten bucks an hour, please."

"Well, you're considered family, so it doesn't count," Emma said as she came in from the bedroom. "And are you guys free on Saturday?"

Ben put his hands on his hips. "That depends what for."

"The bedroom needs painting. I swear, it's like this place hasn't been lived in since Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler were here," Emma explained.

While apartment hunting in Manhattan, the group had seen this place listed and decided to check it out, just for sentimental purposes. None of them thought that they could afford it, remembering the stories that Monica had only been able to live there because of rent control. But to their surprise, the building had deteriorated over the years and the rent had been slashed down to compete with newer buildings in the neighborhood.

Since Emma and Erica were making the most money, they'd been able to claim it over Jack and Mikey, who'd also been in the market for apartment housing.

"Hm, spending the day painting a room for my cousin," Jack wondered aloud, pretending to consider the idea. "Nope, I think I've got a root canal that day I'd rather go to. What a shame."

Emma crossed her arms. "Fine then. See if I help you move into your place."

"Oh, no! Now who will stand around and tell me what to do?" Jack exclaimed in mock horror.

Erica, meanwhile, had begun to go through the many boxes on the kitchen table. "Has anyone seen my tennis ball?"

"Why, looking to play a few matches?" Mikey asked in confusion, glancing out the big picture window. The rain was coming down in sheets, like it had been since they'd left Westchester that morning.

Not even looking up at him, Erica explained, "No, it's to get that scuff mark off the floor.. There's no way I'll be able to do anything else until its gone."

Ben laughed at her. "Are you sure you're adopted? You sound just like…"

"Yes, ha ha, I'm turning into my mother. I accept that. Now where's that damn…"

"Looking for this?" Mikey asked, tossing up the tennis ball he'd found in a box labeled "cleaning supplies."

Jack held out his hand. "Hey, toss it over here!"

"Oh, don't you dare…" Erica warned.

"Sure. Catch!" Mikey called, tossing the ball to Jack.

Emma laughed and held up her hands. "Guys, over here!"

"Yes, throw it to Em!" Erica agreed.

While Emma pouted, Jack teased, "Yeah, right. Erica's got a better chance of catching it before Emma even reaches for it."

"Now, Jack, be nice," Ben chided, then smiled. "Erica's not even in the ball's line of direction. There's a chance Emma might catch it first."

Emma crossed her arms at her chest. "All of you are mean!"

"Hey, you were the one willing to join in when it was me they were teasing," Erica reminded her. Glaring at the boys, she reached into another box marked "junk drawer." "Fine, you boys play with your balls all you want…"

"I always do," Jack interrupted, tossing the tennis ball in the air and catching it.

Erica rolled her eyes. "_Ignoring_ that. I've got an eraser right here." Holding up the school supply, she went back to the scuff and rubbed it out. "There. Good as new."

"And now we'll all sleep better tonight," Mikey joked

Seriously, Erica shrugged. "I know I will. Now let's put that foosball table over by the picture window. Emma…"

"Can't. Just did my nails this morning," Emma replied, holding up her pink fingernails.

Ben raised an eyebrow at her. "Why would you paint your nails when you knew you were moving today?"

"In case we meet any cute neighbors who come over to welcome us to the building," Emma explained, as if it should have been obvious.

Her older brother let out an exasperated sigh. "Good to know you've got your priorities straight."

"Hey, you never know. I could meet a guy, and get _him_ to help me finish moving in," Emma pointed out.

At that, Jack glanced at his sister. "In that case, why don't you have _your_ nails painted?"

"Ha ha. Besides, we haven't seen _one_ cute guy since we moved in here," Erica retorted, then frowned. "Which is a shame, really…"

Checking his watch, Ben said, "Well, as much as I'd like to stay and sympathize, Sarah's expecting me home for dinner." Sarah was Ben's wife of two years. The two had met in college, stayed friends, and eventually became husband and wife.

"Oh, yes, wouldn't want the take-out to get cold. Or are you making dinner tonight, Mr. Housewife?" Mikey teased.

Ben glared at him. "We're ordering Chinese food, thank you very much. It's not her fault she's been running late at the office."

"I never got how a nut job can be a psychologist," Jack quipped, earning him a smack from Erica.

Glaring at him, Emma chided, "Jack! That's not nice! Sarah is perfectly normal."

"Yeah," Ben agreed, then checked his watch again. "But I gotta get home soon."

Noticing the rain was somewhat letting up, Mikey suggested, "Hey Ben, you got some time for a pit-stop? We've been meaning to check out our parents' old haunt and see if it's still any good. I think it's called Central Perk?"

"Oh, I've been dying to check it out all day! Let's go!" Erica exclaimed. As the group made their way to the door, she held up a hand and got their attention. "But not before we move the foosball table to the window."


	2. Act I

_Friendsfan:_ Replying like this since you left an anonymous review.

Uh…thanks? I guess my older stories did suck, but if you look at my newer one-shots they're a little better. And Sarah's going to be more like a "Gunther" character, on often enough but not really part of the group.

General A/N: I worked out how I'm going to do the stories. Each "episode" will only be five chapters – teaser, three acts, and a tag scene. This way it's easier for me to get one episode up a week.

* * *

Emma returned to the apartment hallway with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. After visiting Central Perk, she was flooded with memories of her very early childhood. She remembered going there to meet Aunt Monica, Uncle Chandler and the twins countless times when they came in from Westchester to visit. And later, when she and her parents moved out to Westchester too, the coffee house was where they would meet Aunt Phoebe and Uncle Mike, until Aunt Phoebe got pregnant and moved to there as well.

Central Perk had been the scene of many firsts. It was where she first had chocolate – the story went that she'd stolen Uncle Joey's chocolate chip cookie. The grown man had given her three-year-old self a dirty look, but melted at the sight of brown goo all over her mouth. The coffee house had been where she first sang in public. For most kids, that was at their school talent show. But Emma had been singing on the small stage with her Aunt Phoebe since she was five, matching her awful note for awful note.

It was where she'd said good-bye to her Uncle Joey when he temporarily left for California.

And it was where her father proposed to her mother when there were only she, her aunts, uncles, and baby cousins there. She remembered that too.

Not for the first time, she smirked at her unusual situation. It was always a kick to be able to tell people that she remembered her parents getting engaged for the first time. And officially engaged, not like that one time in Vegas.

It all happened at Central Perk.

"You know, we should hang out there more often," Emma suggested, digging around in her purse for her key. "Make it our usual place. It was good enough for our parents."

Erica frowned. "I don't know. It was nice but I'd like to make my own memories."

"But it's right downstairs! You can't beat it!" Emma reasoned. She gave up on finding her keys and gestured for her cousin to find hers. In the meantime, Emma pulled out her compact and checked her shoulder-length chocolate brown hair, and the make-up around her dark brown eyes. Putting her make-up back in the bag, she straightened her skirt and leggings that covered her somewhat lanky frame. "You find your key?"

"Yeah, got it," Erica said, opening the door with a final push. She then paused and glanced back at the door across the hall. So far, they had yet to meet their neighbors.

Glancing at the door, Emma asked, "Whatcha' thinkin'?"

"I'm thinking I want to meet our neighbors," At her cousin's apprehensive look, she prodded, "You'll get to show me around Uncle Joey's old place…"

"Sure, lure me through my sentimental nature," Emma scoffed. She'd been hesitant to knock on the door, worried that they might not like them. Their parents had gotten lucky once – what were the chances that lightening would strike twice?

But Erica had already gone to knock. When there was no response, she knocked again. "Hello, anyone in there? We live across the hall!"

At that, the door was opened a crack, and a man about the girls' age with pale brown hair and deep green eyes looked out.

It was one of the most handsome halves of a face Emma had ever seen. Suddenly finding her nerve, she went to Erica's side and gave him a wide smile. "Hi! I'm Emma, and this is my cousin, Erica."

"Hi, I'm Tom –"

Tom was pushed aside by a white-blonde flash, and the girls found themselves facing a short, fit woman, her sea blue eyes giving them a critical once over. "What do you two want?"

"To meet you and your…cousin?" Emma asked hopefully.

The woman rolled her eyes. "My little brother. And if you want to get to him, you'll have to get through me first, so I suggest you abandon whatever ideas are in your empty head."

While Emma gaped at her, Erica asked, "What's your _problem_?"

"My problem is that you city girls have been hitting on him like bears to honey, and I'm sick of it!" the woman snapped. For the first time, the girls noticed a slight southern accent.

Erica put her hands on her hips. "Shouldn't that be _his_ business?"

"Look, I love him, but when it comes to girls, he needs someone to be his brain while his hormones take over," the woman explained. Staring at them under the door chain, she asked, "Is there anything I can do for you girls, other than update you on my brother's romantic life?"

Seeing that Erica was about to explode, Emma quickly put in, "Look, sorry you've had a bad experience since you've been here, but honestly, my cousin and I live right across the hall." She paused to step back and point to the girls' open door. "See? It used to be our parents' apartment, and our uncle used to live in yours. Well, technically he's not our uncle, but you know how it can be with close family friends. Anyway, we were just wondering if we could see what it looks like now. And, you know, we are neighbors so…"

The woman just looked at Emma, then glanced at Erica. "Does she always talk so much?"

"Oh, yeah. Particularly when dealing with paranoid neighbors," Erica said in a sardonic tone.

Glaring at Erica, the woman gave an exasperated sigh and replied, "I've heard about all sorts of scams you New York City people try to pull, and this sounds just like one of them. Until I'm sure you live across the hall, you're not getting in this apartment. Have a good day."

And then she slammed the door.

"What a bitch," Erica muttered as they went back to their place. "Oh, well, there's two people we won't be chatting with at the building Christmas party."

Determined, Emma crossed her arms and replied, "Oh, no, that's Uncle Joey's apartment, and I wont rest until I see it again."

"You just want to meet the cute guy," Erica said, not buying the excuse for a second.

Emma shrugged. "Yeah, that too."

* * *

For the second time in two days, Ben found himself carrying a large piece of furniture into a cousin's apartment. "You guys…better…appreciate this."

"You're only bitter because 'Sarah-sweetie' is ticked since you're helping us rather than taking her out to dinner tonight," Mikey replied. They turned the couch on its side and moved it into position to be brought into the apartment.

Glaring at him, Ben replied, "Sarah is fine with this, thank you. She was a little upset when I told her, but now it's cool."

Jack grinned at him over the couch's back. "Quick question. What's that stain on your shirt?"

Glancing down, Ben answered, "Oh, that was from when she…I mean, when _I_ _accidentally_ squirted ketchup on it."

"Right. But she's fine," Jack said.

Ben sighed. "I said she's cool _now_."

"Um, guys, while I usually _love_ to discuss Ben's marriage, I'd rather get this couch in before my arms give out," Mikey interrupted. His normally spiked black hair was plastered to his forehead from sweat, his thin but round face expressing pain, and his light brown eyes focused in concentration. They'd been moving furniture all day, and he pretty much had enough.

Just then, a beautiful brunette woman about the guys' age walked down the hall, passing them on her way to the stairs on the other side. Distracted, Jack turned around and dropped the couch, throwing his friends off balance.

Mikey ended up with the end of the couch on his foot. "_Ouch_! You son of a…" he began, trailing off in a string of curses.

"Alright, Mikey, let's go inside and get some ice for your foot. We'll leave the couch here for now," Ben said. He turned to Jack, who was still staring after where the girl had gone with a goofy look on his thin, narrow face, his dark blue eyes wide and blank. "Hey, thanks for being so concerned."

"Who says I'm not concerned? I am concerned! I'm concerned that I'll never find out which apartment she's in!" Jack exclaimed, still not even looking at his injured cousin.

For that, Ben smacked him on the shoulder. "I meant about Mikey, you idiot. Get your head out of your pants – _you_ can have the pleasure of pushing the couch into the apartment while I help Mikey."

"He's fine," Jack said with a dismissive wave of his hand. When Ben raised an eyebrow at Mikey, who was jumping around in pain, Jack gave him a weak smile. "He's so excited about moving in, he can't contain himself?"

Ben rolled his eyes as he followed Mikey inside. "Nice try. Get on that couch."

"Okay," Jack replied. Then he "got on" the couch, in a reclining position.

"Jack!"

"Okay, I'm on it!"

Shaking his head, Ben went over to the counter, where there was ice in cups from the sodas the guys had bought earlier that afternoon. Wrapping some in a paper towel, he handed it to Mikey, who'd sat down on one of the moving crates. "Here you go. Sorry about the soda – your foot might be a little sticky."

"Eh, they're always sticky. Thanks," Mikey replied, applying the ice to his foot.

Before Ben could ask, his cell phone rang. "Hey Mom…yes, I helped Emma move in a few days ago…no, I haven't seen her since…" Ben paused and held the phone away from his ear, while Rachel Geller's voice yelled through. Mikey, while icing his injury, gave Ben a sympathetic frown.

Once she was done, Ben held the phone back to his ear. "_Rachel_, Emma's twenty-four now. She's a big girl and can handle Manhattan…_every day_, are you serious? I live uptown! Look, I'd love to take care of her every need…" Ben glared at Mikey, who had scoffed at that reply. "…but I have work, and a wife, and…fine, three days a week, but that's _it_. And yes, I will tell her to keep her cell phone on at all times when I see her. Yes, I know Dad is behind you on this. Tell him and the family I said hi…love you too, bye."

With that, he hung up, and let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.

"And how many calls is that?" Mikey asked.

Ben sighed as he stared at the phone. "Five. Since _yesterday_. Both Rachel and Dad have gone psycho about this, meanwhile Emma had her apartment in Westchester for two years since she got her psychology degree."

"A lot of good that's doing her," Mikey couldn't help but remark. Emma had no idea what she wanted to do in life, so she'd skimmed by on a state psychology program and was working at the American Museum of Natural History, a job her father had gotten for her through connections. Shaking his head, Mikey continued, "Anyway, look, our parents all lived in Manhattan. It was a _long_ time ago, but they know what it's like, and they're just worried that Emma won't be able to cope. I mean…it's Emma."

Laughing, Ben had to agree with that. Even though she was the second oldest, Emma was the undisputed "baby" of the group. He, on the other hand, was the oldest "cousin" – not really part of the "cousins clique," but still forced to look after them when together But he chose not to think of that at the moment "Yeah, I guess. But I'm forcing Emma to answer her parents' calls the _second_ I see her. It's not fair that I'm the only one going through this torture."

"Speaking of torture…" Jack called, his voice coming from the hall as a couch came through the doorway. He was tired also, the large sectional one of the last pieces to be moved in. "A little help?"

Mikey held up his foot in a mocking gesture. "So sorry, I'm injured at the moment."

"I'll get it," Ben said, grabbing the other end of the couch. "So, when am I getting a home-cooked meal for this?"

Jack let out a sardonic laugh. He had learned cooking from his mother and gone to culinary school. However, he was going the entrepreneur route and, thanks to his Uncle Joey's influences, wanted to open his own Italian specialty store one day. In the meantime, he was no doubt the best cook of the group and often treated his cousins to meals. But not when he hadn't even unpacked his cooking supplies yet. "Dude, unless you want to unpack the kitchen for me, you're going to have to wait a while."

Glancing at the dozens of boxes stacked in the kitchen area, Ben turned back to his cousin and grinned. "If I unpack, can I pick what you make?"

"Don't make empty offers - at this point, I would let you unpack all that by yourself," Jack replied. Finally, they moved the couch to the edge of the living room area and dropped it down. Jack fell into it, relaxing for real this time. "So was that Aunt Rachel's screech I heard on the phone?"

Mikey raised an eyebrow at him. "You heard that all the way out in the hallway, from on the phone? Man, Aunt Rachel gets some _distance_!"

"Don't I know it. Alright guys, since Jack's not making us food, I'll head on home. Maybe Sarah and I will be able to catch a late dinner," Ben replied, grabbing the car keys that he'd left on the counter and heading for the door.

Smirking at him, Jack asked, "So, you stopping at Emma's on the way home?"

"_No_…" Ben trailed off, lowering his eyes and leaving the apartment.

Before he got too far away, Mikey yelled, "Say hi to the girls for us!"

"And help Erica find my box that ended up in with her stuff!" Jack added.

Ben debated with himself on the issue for a good two seconds, then gave in. "Got it!"

_I hate them sometimes,_ he thought as the guys' hysterical laughter reached his ears.


	3. Act II

"Now how did Mom do this…" Erica muttered to herself, staring at the array of cups and plates spread out on the counter. She was trying to remember her mother's numbering system. Monica had offered to write the system down, but Erica hadn't bothered and thought she'd be able to figure it out on her own based on experience.

As it turned out, her mother's mind worked in a much more complicated way than Erica had anticipated.

Erica held up the piece of paper on which she'd mapped out how the items had been arranged in her home. She tried to match up her mother's cutlery with her own, but there were always the questions – what if her mother had given it this number because it was blue, not because it was a plate, etc. A few more minutes of this, and Erica would have to call her mother up and ask her to explain the whole thing…again.

There was a knock at the door. Distracted by the system, she peeked through the hole and smiled when she saw it was her cousin. "Hey, Ben. What are you doing here? Don't you and Sarah usually spend Sundays doing stuff around the house?"

"Yeah, but Rachel called yesterday demanding to know why Princess hasn't picked up her phone in three days. I would've been here yesterday, but once I left the guys' place I realized I was exhausted and couldn't be bothered with another subway ride," Ben explained, glaring in the general direction of Emma's room, the one that used to be their mother's. "She better have a good excuse. Like she got mugged and would've been shot if she didn't give up her phone. Anything less than that, and she's about to…." He trailed off, noticing the spread of dishes and paper on the counter. "What are you doing?"

Erica gave him a sheepish smile. Honestly, she was a little ashamed to be caught taking on one of her mother's more neurotic quirks. "Uh…drying dishes. I thought I'd wash them before I put them in the cabinets."

"And what's this?" Ben asked, holding up the piece of paper. "Your game plan?"

"Sort of…" Erica replied, snatching the paper from his hands. "Emma's in her room."

Forgetting Erica's neurotic tendencies, Ben stormed across the apartment to Emma's room. His shaggy dark blonde hair was flying, and his "Hey, Princess! Get out here…" he yelled, bursting open his cousin's closed bedroom door.

"_Ah_!"

Erica jumped, whirling around and going into the living room. "What the hell…"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Ben exclaimed, trying to escape his cousin.

Emma was hopping after him, only one leg in a tight pair of leggings while she chased after her brother with a spiky high heel in hand. "How…" _Whack._ "dare…" _Whack._ "you!" _Whack._ Luckily, she'd been dressed…barely, in a tight tank-top and a short skirt.

"Emma, stop!" Erica shouted, coming between her cousins and stopping Emma from advancing further. "Stop that and listen to Ben!"

Steadying herself on one foot, Emma glared at Ben, breathing heavy and still gripping the shoe. "Do the words 'invasion of privacy' mean anything to you?"

"They sure mean a lot to you," Ben replied, rubbing the spot on his arm where she'd hit him. At her death glare, he was about to argue, then took in her outfit. "What the hell are you wearing? Look, Em, I know you don't like your job, but applying to the strip club down the street is not the answer…"

Just for that, Emma whacked him with her shoe again. "You _jerk_! First you barge into my room, then you accuse me of being a _stripper_? I'm gonna kill you!"

"Hold on! No one is committing murder in this apartment! Except maybe me when I off the two of you!" Erica yelled. _How I miss the days where all they did was call each other names like butt munch and loser dork,_ she thought in a moment of nostalgia. "Both of you calm down and act like grown-ups!"

"Tell little miss princess over here, who can't be bothered to turn on her phone!" Ben argued.

That got Emma to calm down and put her hands on her hips, her high heel still in her hand. "_What_!"

"_Your_ mother has been calling _me_ non-stop for the past _three days_ because _someone's_ phone has been off," Ben explained through gritted teeth and clenched hands. "And _yelling_. Did I mention the yelling?"

Lowering her eyes, Emma said, "No, not yet…"

"There was yelling! _Loud_ yelling! In fact, if you do this again, I'm letting Rachel leave her rants on voicemails, and I'm forwarding them all to you so you can enjoy them first hand!" Ben shouted in a loud rant.

Emma cleared her throat and tried to look him in the eye. "Well…I…am…sorry you had to go through that. But I lost my charger and…"

"_You lost your charger?_" Ben yelled. "_That's_ why I'm slowly losing hearing in my right ear? _You lost your charger_?"

Wiping a tear from her eye, Emma cried, "I'm sorry! B-but I've had w-work and I've been unpacking…"

"Great job, Ben, now you've made her cry," Erica said, letting out a long sigh.

"Like that's saying much. She cried last week when she dropped her ice cream!" Ben argued. But, thankfully, he calmed down at the sight of her tears "Look, just call your mother, okay? Otherwise I'm charging you for my hearing aide."

Emma stopped crying and gave her older brother a winning smile. "I will! Right after I go hit on this guy…"

"_What_?" Ben asked.

"Cute guy across the hall," Erica explained while Emma finished putting her leggings on. "Overprotective bitch of a sister is in the way, so she's been going over there like every day when the sister goes to work. He's a freelance journalist so he's home at random times – she's been lucky so far. Today the sister just left to go shopping so she's going over there now."

"Writer, huh? Surprised you're not going for him. Or maybe you are, just…more subtly?" Ben asked, glancing back at his sister's outfit. Erica was a freelance fiction writer, working at a temp agency while she tried to publish her short stories in various magazines.

Erica shrugged. "Emma likes him more, so I let her have him."

"You _let_ me have him? No, I don't think so," Emma interrupted. She now had her leggings on the right way, and her heels were finally on her feet. "You could clearly see he was more interested in _me_ before the sister pushed him away."

Erica instantly regretted her choice of words. Deciding not to fuel Emma's faint competitive streak, she said, "Okay, fine, he was all yours the second you laid eyes on him."

"Thank you. If you'll excuse me…" Emma replied, running her fingers through her straightened hair as she crossed the rooms and went into the hallway.

"You go get 'im," Erica cheered, sharing amused smirks with Ben. Sighing, she glanced back at the cutlery waiting to be numbered, knowing she'd never be able to figure it out on her own. "So Ben…got anything lined up for the afternoon?"

* * *

"Dude, you have to wear a fake moustache and a shiny chef hat. I'd say that's pretty bad," Mikey replied. He was walking down the hallway with Jack towards their apartment. Once they reached the door, he waited while Jack fished his key out of his pocket since Mikey had forgotten his when he left them in his jeans the other day.

"It's not _that _bad," Jack argued. For the past three months, Jack had been head waiter at an established pizzeria nearby. Jack tried to convince himself that it tied into his ultimate dream, but Mikey knew that the only thing the two had in common was Italian food. And even that was a loose interpretation of the term. "It's not…too bad. The hat isn't _that_ shiny. And, yes, the moustache feels like a pipe cleaner on my lip, but…a very _small_ pipe cleaner."

At Mikey's disbelieving look, Jack's shoulders sagged. "Alright, my job sucks. You know it, I know it, but unless you need a backup vocalist, I'm stuck with it."

"No thanks, I've heard you sing," Mikey replied. Mikey was a college student, but he had a semi-regular paid singing gig at the student center. His lifelong dream was to be a professional singer. However, unlike his mother, he had a decent chance. "Besides, if I hired you, I'd have to make room for Emma. And _she_ can actually sing. Remember when she sang 'Baby Got Back' with her friends for her school talent show?"

Jack smiled and shook his head. "She changed her mind during rehearsals – Aunt Rachel and Uncle Ross had no idea. A priceless night for all involved, especially since her friends actually did have very big behinds."

"Got that right," Mikey agreed, imagining the dance number in his head. It'd involved Emma's friends shaking their butts so fast…

They both paused as two hot women came down the hallway from their right, carrying armloads full of grocery bags. As the women passed, Jack muttered, "Speaking of big butts…" He paused, then ran up to them so that they stopped a foot away from the guys' door. "Hi, I'm Jack, and this is my pal Mikey. We just moved in and have been _dying_ to meet our neighbors."

_How does he do that?_ Mikey wondered as he stared in profound respect. Unfortunately, he'd inherited his father's gene of being shy around the opposite sex. On the other hand, Mikey often won over girls with his goofy nature and singing voice. But he didn't see how he could apply either of that there. "Uh, hi. So I guess you girls live in the building?" _That was smooth, genius! Of course they live here!_

The brunette girl nodded. "Yeah, on the floor above this one. Our apartment is right at the other staircase, so we figured we cut through here. I'm Marie."

"_Hello_ Marie. And who is this beautiful woman who is carrying way too many bags?" Jack asked, taking a bag out of the blonde's hand before she could object.

Giggling, the blonde answered, "I'm Rebecca. Thanks, that was getting heavy."

"It's my pleasure. Hey, Mikey, why don't you grab some bags from Marie and we'll help carry them upstairs?" Jack asked.

The two girls traded looks, gave them what were obviously critical once-overs, then nodded. "Sure," Rebecca said. "But we've got to hurry. There's ice cream in here and it was already getting warm from the car."

"We better hurry then," Jack said. They began to walk down the hall, bags in hand.

About to go off with them, Mikey paused and glanced back at the door. Which was wide open. Their parents had warned them all to _always_ lock doors when no one was home. But he didn't have his key, and his hands were too full of groceries to even close it…

Well, they were only going upstairs for a few minutes to drop off the groceries. Surely no one would have time to rob the place while they were gone.

"Hey, Mikey," Jack said, whispering to him. "You're probably the only dude in the world who would rather look at a door than hot girls. _Come on_!"

Making up his mind, Mikey nodded in agreement and followed. "Don't you worry. I would rather stare at hot girls any day…_that_ came out wrong!"


	4. Act III

Act III

Jack and Mikey ran down the hall of their apartment while they feared for the lives. "Did you leave the door open?"

"Yes, thank God, yes!" Mikey exclaimed, following Jack as they ran.

As it turned out, being a good neighbor was dangerous these days. The boys had been perfect gentlemen as they helped the girls unload groceries. To thank them, the girls had offered to make them sandwiches from the fresh cold cuts they bought.

Then Jack got mayonnaise on his pants. And it all went downhill from there.

_I should've just said I'd wash it later. But no, Mr. Cool here had to show off his undies,_ Jack thought with hatred at himself. Rebecca offered to throw his pants in the washing machine, and Jack couldn't resist the temptation to walk around a pretty girl's apartment in his boxers.

The girls neglected to mention that their boyfriends were coming over.

Claiming that someone downstairs had let them in, two muscular guys – _of course they were muscular,_ Jack thought. _When are angry boyfriends ever puny?_ – barged into the apartment, demanding to know why some stranger was walking around without pants.

Well, they really "demanded" for about one second. Then they went into "we're going to kill you guys" mode, and chased poor Jack and Mikey out into the hallway.

And Jack was still in his boxers.

_It's going to be okay,_ Jack thought as he approached the apartment door. _We'll just hide in our apartment. Forever._

But once they got closer, both guys' eyes widened in fear when they saw that hiding wouldn't be a possibility. The door was closed.

"It can't be locked," Mikey said, then tried the handle.

_Yup, it's locked,_ Jack thought.

Confused, Mikey exclaimed, "I don't get it! I remember leaving it open because I didn't have my key!"

"The super must have closed it," Jack said in realization, never despising a person more than he did the super at that moment. "Remember? He said that when he passes by open doors, he locks it with his master key."

"And it's our stupid luck that he happened to walk by while we were gone," Mikey grumbled. Then held out his hand.

Jack gave it a blank stare. "_What_?"

"Where's your key, man? Mine's in my other pants inside," Mikey said, panicking the longer they stood in one spot.

Horrified, Jack exclaimed, "_Mine are in my pants upstairs!_"

"Holy crap, we're screwed!" Mikey yelled.

"No, _screwed_ would have been me if given another few hours with Rebecca," Jack shouted. "_We_, my friend, _are dead_!"

Mikey fell to the floor on his knees. "I'm too young to die! I'm still in college!"

"Wait! The fire escape!" Jack exclaimed, relieved at the insight. "We can climb up there, then we're home free!" Then he looked down at his bare legs. "On second thought, you go and let me in. I'll hide in the janitor's closet."

Glaring at him, Mikey exclaimed, "No way, man! It's your fault they wanna kill us in the first place, you and your stupid _mayonnaise stain_! Why can't you come out with me?"

"Because…" Jack said in a whisper, as if someone was listening. "I'm in my underwear, man!"

Mikey smirked at him. "Why, Jack, I never knew you were so self-conscious."

"I'm not!" Jack lied. "I-I just…I just haven't worked out since I've been in Manhattan, okay? If it doesn't bother you, give me your pants!"

Rolling his eyes, Mikey said, "Fine!" Then he dropped the jeans he was wearing.

At the exact moment their pursuers came into sight down the hall.

"Run!" Jack exclaimed, running away toward the stairs.

"But I can't –"

Jack didn't even look back at the panicked Mikey. "Pull 'em up as you go, man, _run_!"

* * *

Emma sat at the kitchen island in Tom's apartment, sipping the drink he'd made for her. It was one of many times she'd snuck over that week. Even though he was a journalist, he still wasn't home often enough for her to see him much during the day. What really made this "relationship" work was that his sister, who Emma found out was named Megan, was a nurse who usually worked late. After getting home from the museum, she would get to spend time with Tom without the sister's interference.

Now just getting home from work, Tom had to change his shirt, since more often than not he got dirty on the job. Which was why Emma was enjoying the view while he changed out of his shirt. Luckily for her, he had no shame in that department. Nor did he have reason to.

"Wow…" Emma whispered, her head tilted as she took in the sight. "S-So, um, do you work out?"

Unaware of her awe, Tom began buttoning up a new shirt and replied, "I haven't really gotten a chance to here, but back in Florida I used to surf."

"S-surf?" Emma nearly squealed. She liked different kinds of guys, and it wasn't often that she met a surfer in New York. "You're a surfer guy?"

Tom chuckled. "I'm not the typical air headed beach bum, if that's what you mean. Surfing was just a way to exercise in the fresh air. What about you? Do you work out?"

"I used to run in the neighborhood at home," Emma answered, her eyes still on his toned stomach as she spoke. "Ever since I got here, I've been trying to jog in the morning before work. "

Finishing up his buttoning, he glanced up at smiled at her. "Maybe some mornings I could jog with you?"

_Yes, yes, a million times yes!_ Emma thought. But she kept her face calm and gave him a cool smile back. "Maybe you could."

He was distracted by a movement behind her that she couldn't care to look at . "Hey, isn't that your cousin?"

"My who?" Emma asked, distracted by looking at…well, him. At his puzzled glance, she snapped out of it and turned around. "Oh! Erica, over here!"

About to go into the girls' apartment, Erica instead turned and came into their doorway. "Hey, Em. Tom, right? I don't believe we've officially met," she said, holding out her hand.

Shaking her hand, Tom replied, "Yeah. Sorry about my sister…she's a little overprotective."

"Just a little," Erica said with a wry grin.

Tom laughed. "Yeah, and abrasive too. But I'm sure she'll cool down after a while. She doesn't like strangers that much. She's so much like a dog sometimes that my cousins and I used to call her 'Fido' behind her back."

"That's horrible!" Emma exclaimed with feigned horror, knowing it was how he'd want her to react to the tale. But she really wasn't surprised – soon after explaining about Megan, Jack had made some clever remark about how it wasn't a coincidence that the degrading term "bitch" was also used for a female dog.

Sure enough, Tom laughed again and replied, "But true. It's just easier not to tell her stuff sometimes, you know?"

"Completely understand. I don't tell my older brother all my secrets," Emma said.

While Tom sifted through his mail that was on the counter, Erica raised an eyebrow at her. "You don't? And what 'secrets'?"

"That…that…well Ben doesn't know _everything_!" Emma exclaimed in frustration.

Looking down, Tom interrupted, "Aw, man, got dirt on my jeans too. If you'll excuse me, ladies, I have to go change."

Emma frowned, disappointed that he drew the public changing line at pants. "Sure. I'll be waiting."

"And I'll be, you know, just standing here," Erica added, rolling her eyes since, as usual, Emma had forgotten about her cousin while a cute guy was in the room.

Taking no notice of the offense, Emma sighed. "He's so _hot_."

"So is this apartment! Man, look at this stuff!" Erica exclaimed, walking around the living room. The furniture was arranged differently, so that the TV was the invisible corner of the space and the sofas across from that – the whole arrangement almost parallel to the front door wall. All furniture was of recent design, and the television was high-tech. "I'll bet anything that it never looked this good when Uncle Joey was here."

Emma shook her head and got up to join her cousin. Both girls were too young to remember, but her mother had shown her plenty of pictures of Emma's first crib. "It didn't. There was a recliner that always used to face the TV on that wall. Apparently he kept it equidistant from the TV and the bathroom."

"That sounds like Uncle Joey," Erica said with a laugh.

The nostalgic moment was interrupted when the front door banged open. Megan stood there so angry that it was almost comical. Dressed in scrubs, she clutched her purse strap in a death grip and glared at them, so much that Emma was sure both she and her cousin had to be wondering why they weren't puddles of goo already.

"_What are you two doing in here?_" Megan shrieked, approaching them in a sort of fast power walk.

Backing up slightly, Emma knew that if she spilled about Tom she'd never see him again, so she replied, "T-the door was open and w-we…"

"That door was not open when I left! And Tom isn't home yet!" Megan screeched.

Erica's hand wavered as she pointed to what had been the spare bedroom. "A-actually, Tom's right in…"

"I said _go_!" Megan yelled.

Inching their way around the infuriated woman, Erica managed to reply, "You never said…"

"I'm saying it now! _Go_, before I get the pepper spray out of my purse!"

"Bye, Tom!" Emma yelled as she ran out the door, Erica not even two steps behind her.

* * *

A/N: He he, I can't believe I got this all out in one day. Next chapter will be the last of this "episode" and a preview of the summaries for future episodes.


	5. Tag Scene

Arriving at the coffee house, Ben stopped at the front door to see his three cousins and his sister sitting in the couch area.

Central Perk hadn't changed too much from how he remembered it, the few times his father had taken him there in his later childhood. The place was still a combination of mismatched furniture, the counter still in the same spot but redone with a more modern material. Some tables or chairs had been replaced with ones from later decades, but the same couch was there.

Which made Ben nostalgic and grossed out at the same time.

"You going to join us, honey?" Ben asked, turning to Sarah.

His wife Sarah was a beautiful woman a couple of years younger than him, a curly brunette with blue eyes. Although the guys all teased him that she wore the pants in the relationship, Ben didn't mind, because she could also be very caring and understanding. While she was worried that Ben's parents were pushing him too hard to take care of his sister and cousins, she agreed that he should look out for them while they were in the city.

"No, it's alright, you haven't had much 'cousin time' this week," Sarah answered, kissing him on the cheek good-bye. "Besides, I'm exhausted from our…walk," she added with a smile.

Ben felt his face redden. They'd decided to meet up after work for a romantic walk in Central Park…which had ended up more romantic than a walk. They ended up sitting in an enclosed area of the park and making out for a good hour. "Me too. I won't be long, just want to check on how they're doing," he assured her, kissing her back. "See you at home."

"See you. Tell the others I said hi," Sarah called, hailing a cab to take her back to their apartment. With the money she earned as a psychologist, she could afford it.

Stepping into the coffee house, Ben took a moment to savor the feeling of being in a place his father and his aunts and uncles used to frequent. There were a few pictures in various photo albums of all of them here, reputed to be taken by some guy named Gunther.

Ben shook his head and approached the group and sat on the couch next to Emma. Erica was on her other side, next to Mikey, and Jack sat at the table next to them All had coffee and a baked good in front of them on the coffee table. "Hey, guys, what's up?" He paused when he realized that Jack had a bruise on his forehead. "Dude, what happened?"

"Hit my head…on the headboard…while with a beautiful woman!" Jack exclaimed, for some reason sensitive about the question.

Waving a dismissive hand at Jack's embarrassment, Mikey explained, "We were running from the girls' huge boyfriends, and Jack hit his head on the on the fire escape ladder when he pulled it down."

"Thank you for that," Jack deadpanned. Eager to embarrass him back, Jack added, "And Mikey didn't have his pants up!"

Mikey grinned at him. "At least I _had_ pants."

"_What_?" Ben asked.

Erica rolled her deep blue eyes. "Don't ask, just…don't. Just another example of Jack and Mikey stupidity."

"Hey, we weren't the only ones recently chased out of an apartment," Jack retorted.

Mimicking Mikey, Erica smiled. "At least _we_ had pants."

"Chased out of an apartment?" Ben panicked, turning to Emma. "Rachel and Dad ask me to look after you, and you get chased from an apartment?"

"Okay, you know Tom, the neighbor I was going after?" Emma explained. When Ben nodded, she continued, "Well, his sister caught us in his apartment and threatened us with pepper spray if we didn't leave. He's gonna try to convince her that it was all innocent, but…yeah, it's over."

"Aw, I'm sorry Em," Ben said, patting her hand on the couch.

"Yup. There's one neighbor we won't be borrowing a cup of sugar from," Erica said with a shrug.

Jack laughed. "Right. Like you ladies would even know what to _do_ with a cup of sugar."

"_Oh_!" Emma exclaimed, taking a pillow from the couch and throwing it at Jack.

He caught it. "Ha!" He winced when Erica tossed a pillow that hit his stomach. "Ouch!"

"What do you know, years of softball practice finally pays off," Erica remarked with a smirk.

Laughing at his cousins, Ben picked up his cell phone. "Hello? Oh, hey Rachel…"

Emma grabbed the phone from him. "Hi Mom! Yes, once again, I'm _sorry_ I didn't call…" She paused and held the phone away from her ear, then brought it back. "I said I'm sorry! But I swear, I'm doing great! Still unpacking boxes in your old room…oh, you're with Aunt Monica? Okay, talk to you later, love you too." She handed the phone to Erica. "Your mom wants you."

"Hi Mom," Erica greeted as she took the phone. "I think I'm going to need you to explain the system to me again. Yeah, later…how's the restaurant? No! You fired the cute waiter? He was so…_cute_…yes, incompetent but cute…Dad's there? Oh, you know what, my coffee's getting cold. I'll hand you to Jack. Love you too, Mom."

Jack took the phone from her. "Hey Dad…yeah, pretty much moved in. There are some _smokin'_ girls in my building…Dad, I don't think Mom would be okay with you staying for the weekend alone…no way, you're doing the ad for that company? That's so cool! What…Aunt Phoebe? I don't think Dad was finished…okay, here's Mikey…"

"Hi Mom," Mikey said when he had the phone. "Yeah, um…we're locking our doors. Now we are. No, I haven't run into your street friend yet…Stinky Pete, got it…yeah, school's great. Hey, how's the massage place? That's good…ugh, Mom, haven't I always said that I don't want to know unless you have to massage a hot rich girl? Right, love you too. Here's Ben…"

Content that they had given sufficient response to keep their parents off his back, Ben took his phone. "Hey, Aunt Phoebe…oh, hey Dad. Dinner after your class? Yeah, I'll see who can make it. Dad, she's good… Dad, everyone's…." Ben let out a deep sigh, watching his cousins and sister as they chatted and sipped coffee. "Yeah, we're all fine."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for "tuning in" everyone! The next episode probably won't be for a few weeks while I finish some of my other stories. But once I'm finished, I'll continue with this full steam ahead.

As promised:

_Next time on Cousins:_

1.02: _TOW the Cooking_

Jack tries to give Emma some cooking tips, who despite having a professional chef for an aunt can't even make a grilled cheese sandwich for herself. Meanwhile, Mikey. and Erica try to make a little extra money by selling Jack's leftovers to neighbors.

1.03: _TOW All the Pool_

The gang challenges each other at billiards. Erica finds herself in the middle of Emma and Ben's competitive pool tournament. Meanwhile, Jack helps Mikey while he tries to sub for the pool hall's missing entertainment.

1.04: _TOW the Ball Game_

Ben, Mikey, and tomboy Erica go to a baseball game at Yankee Stadium. While they watch the game on TV only because they promised, Emma and Jack realize that a celebrity is in the stands and over the phone try to make their friends run into the star for an autograph.

1.05: _TOW the Talent Show_

Mikey is putting on a talent show on his campus for credit and invites his friends to audition. Erica wants the gang to act out one of her stories, but Emma wants them to perform a routine. Meanwhile Ben helps Mikey out, while Jack tries to convince one of Mikey's female coeds that he's in one of her classes and she just never noticed him.


End file.
